Dealing with grief before a loss can be emotionally taxing, especially when you think about life without a loved one or are facing your own mortality. This process, called preparatory or anticipatory grief, can feel overwhelming and reveal complex emotions. It can also take a physical toll, creating health problems.
We will discuss the symptoms of anticipatory grief, coping mechanisms, and how body donation in Phoenix, AZ, can help you find meaning amid loss and create a lasting legacy.
What Is the Difference Between Preparatory Grief and Anticipatory Grief?
Preparatory grief and anticipatory grief are different names for the same thing. The Arizona Center for Aging defines it as “the cognitive, emotional, and spiritual responses to the understanding that one has a life-limiting disease—that death is approaching.” You can also experience anticipatory grief when you or a loved one gets a diagnosis of a terminal disease or you start to see signs of deteriorating health that cause you to think about mortality.
“At its most basic, anticipatory grief is feeling grief from the knowledge that a loved one is dying,” says Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, a Tucson, Arizona, psychologist and neuroscientist told Psych Central. “Imagining it so vividly that you feel that grief now.”
What Is an Anticipatory Grief Example?
Here are a few anticipatory grief examples to show the various circumstances that can produce such emotions:
- Receiving a Terminal Illness Diagnosis: Grieving the future loss of life and anticipated physical decline following a terminal diagnosis, often accompanied by fear, sadness, and uncertainty.
- Nearing End of Life: Feeling anticipatory grief over approaching the end of life, with thoughts centered on legacy, relationships, and unresolved goals.
- Deteriorating Health Due to Chronic Illness: Experiencing grief over the gradual loss of abilities and independence as a chronic illness progresses, creating feelings of frustration, sadness, and helplessness.
- Aging and Declining Physical or Mental Health: Mourning the loss of strength, memory, or mental sharpness due to aging, often accompanied by anxiety over increasing dependence on others.
- Caring for a Loved One with a Terminal Illness: Anticipating grief as a loved one’s health deteriorates, balancing caregiving responsibilities with feelings of sadness, helplessness, and preemptive loss.
- Progressive Cognitive Decline: Grieving the slow mental decline of a loved one with dementia, leading to sadness, confusion, and a sense of losing them even while they are physically present.
- Receiving a Life-Changing Diagnosis: Facing anticipatory grief over the inevitable loss of physical function and independence after being diagnosed with a progressive illness, often resulting in anxiety and fear of the future.
What Are the Symptoms of Anticipatory Grief?
Anticipatory grief can be complex when you are mourning things that haven’t happened yet. It can manifest itself in emotional, physical, behavioral, and cognitive symptoms.
| EMOTIONAL | PHYSICAL | BEHAVIORAL | COGNITIVE |
| Sadness and Depression | Physical aches and pains | Preoccupation with Loss | Confusion and Forgetfulness |
| Anxiety and Fear | Trouble Sleeping | Social Withdrawal | Difficult Concentrating |
| Anger and Irritability | Fatigue | Isolation | Denial |
| Guilt | Change in Appetite | Detachment | Intrusive Thoughts |
For many, anticipatory grief brings up spiritual concerns as well. It’s common for people to question their beliefs, struggle to make sense of an impending loss, and reflect on the meaning of life.
What Are the Different Phases of Anticipatory Grief?
Psychologists have identified four specific phases associated with preparatory or anticipatory grief:
- Acceptance
- Reflection
- Rehearsal
- Imagining the Future
Acceptance
In the initial stage, the person comes to terms with the reality that death cannot be avoided. This realization frequently triggers feelings of sadness and depression.
Reflection
The next phase is characterized by concern for the well-being of the person who is dying. Family members may reflect on past conflicts or overly strict discipline, regretting their actions. The dying individual may also grow increasingly anxious about their own mortality and the emotional state of their loved ones.
Rehearsal
During this phase, the physical process of death and its aftermath become central concerns. Individuals may “rehearse” the actual death, make funeral arrangements, and engage in bidding farewell to loved ones as a means of preparing for the inevitable.
Imagining the Future
In the final stage, those left behind begin to imagine their lives without the presence of the person who is dying. Parents may dwell on missed milestones and experiences, while siblings wonder how the loss of a brother or sister will alter their world.
Each person deals with grief in their own way, so these phases may come in any combination or order. Some people go through these stages several times.
Is Anticipatory Grief Healthy?
Anticipatory grief is normal and can be healthy for some people—although not for everyone. It can help in several key ways:
- Emotional Preparation: Anticipatory grief allows people to gradually adjust to the idea of a loss, which can make the eventual passing less of a shock and help ease the pain when it occurs.
- Opportunity for Reflection and Closure: Knowing that time is limited can lead to meaningful conversations, resolution of unfinished business, and the opportunity to say goodbye, fostering a sense of closure.
- Processing Complex Emotions: This type of grief can bring up emotions such as sadness, guilt, or even relief.
- Enhanced Support and Coping: Experiencing anticipatory grief helps people seek out social support and mental health resources ahead of time, which can build a stronger foundation for coping after the loss.
It is important, however, to distinguish between anticipatory grief and serious depression. While those dealing with grief may have bouts of anxiety, consistent depression is a serious concern, so you should know the differences.
| ANTICIPATORY GRIEF | DEPRESSION |
| Comes and goes | Persistent sadness |
| Sadness about the future | Suicidal thoughts or desire for death |
| Anxieties about death or loved ones left behind | Vague anxieties that are pervasive |
| Ability to take pleasure in some activities | Consistent feeling of hopelessness |
| Continued engagement with loved ones | Social withdrawal |
If you or a loved one experiences signs of depression, talk to your doctor.
What Are the Three C’s of Grief?
The three C’s of grief help you cope with loss and regain a sense of control:
- Choose
- Connect
- Communicate
Choose
For many people, the feeling of hopelessness and lack of control is a prime factor behind the anxiety. You can help ease concerns by making choices. Take note of the things you have to do, and make proactive decisions to help you regain control.
For example, getting affairs in order or planning final arrangements can provide a sense of purpose. Signing up for organ donation or body donation in AZ can produce a sense of meaning amid grief.
Connect
Grief often intensifies feelings of loneliness. Many people withdraw and isolate themselves from others. Some do not want to burden others with their problems. However, it is important to connect with others. You’re not alone in your grief. Sharing your experiences or simply being in the presence of others who care about you can create a sense of community and comfort that lightens the emotional load.
Communicate
Open communication about your feelings and experiences is important for healing. This can be done by talking to friends or family, seeking therapy, or any method that helps you express and process your emotions. Communicating your grief allows you to externalize and work through it rather than bottling it up.
These steps can help you move through loss with greater resilience and self-compassion.
Finding Meaning in Loss
One of the most powerful ways you can cope with anticipatory or preparatory grief is to find meaning.
- Creating Lasting Memories: Preserve the individual’s legacy by documenting memories, creating projects, or recording messages for future generations. This allows you to reflect on your loved one’s life and the impact they had on those around them.
- Engaging in Acts of Service or Charity: Channel grief into helping others or supporting causes the person valued, turning grief into positive action.
- Establishing Rituals of Remembrance: Create meaningful traditions to honor the person while preparing for the loss.
- Writing Letters or Journaling: Express feelings of love, gratitude, and closure through written words, which can provide emotional release and comfort.
- Planning a Celebration of Life: Shift focus from grief to celebration by planning a ceremony that reflects the person’s life, values, and impact.
- Spiritual or Religious Practices: Use prayer, meditation, or religious rituals to find comfort, grounding, and a sense of peace during difficult moments.
One way to find meaning is to look for ways that someone can continue to contribute to society after they are gone. This might include donating to a cause that was important to them, establishing a scholarship or grant, passing on their expertise to future generations, or dedicating a bench, garden, or other memorial.
Many families find meaning and comfort in helping others. For example, becoming an organ donor helps save lives. A single donor can save as many as eight lives, according to the Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA).
Another option is to become a whole-body donor. Body donation in AZ helps advance medical research and education, providing a sense of purpose by contributing to the greater good.
Note: You can be an organ donor and a whole body donor.
How Does Body Donation Work?
Body donation in Phoenix, AZ, and throughout the state is easier than you might think at first. The first step is to learn about how body donation works and make a decision to participate. It’s important to talk this through with family members to ensure your wishes are known ahead of time.
You will need to register with United Tissue Network (UTN). UTN coordinates body donation in AZ. You can fill out some basic information online, and a donor care coordinator can guide you through the process.
After a loved one passes, you need to contact UTN immediately. A funeral home or hospice center can help you make the call if needed. From there, UTN will transport the body to a reputable medical facility or research institution. Body donation in Phoenix, AZ is vital for:
Medical Education and Training
Donated bodies are used by medical and nursing students to learn human anatomy and practice medical procedures. This allows students to gain hands-on experience before working with living patients. Surgeons often practice innovative and life-saving techniques as well.
Anatomical Research
Studying donated bodies helps scientists and researchers better understand human biology, disease progression, and the effects of injury or aging on the body.
Development of Medical Devices and Treatment Therapies
Researchers may use donated bodies to test medical devices or experimental drugs before trying them on living patients. This can lead to new treatments and therapies to slow or prevent diseases. Past donations have led to significant breakthroughs in treating different types of cancers, heart disease, and more.
Forensic Science
Studying donated bodies can assist in forensic investigations and develop better techniques for determining the cause of death.
After research is complete, donated bodies are cremated, and the remains are disposed of in an ethical manner or returned to the family upon request.
How Do I Donate a Body to Science in Arizona?
To make a body donation in Phoenix, AZ, or elsewhere in the state, you can register a loved one at United Tissue Network. UTN is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that coordinates body donations in Arizona. There is an online registration you can fill out for yourself or your loved one. Once you complete the registration, you will receive a Donor Pledge Card in the mail.
When registering, you will need two witnesses to sign, although they do not have to be physically present with you. It can be done electronically. One of the witnesses must be a disinterested party. In other words, they cannot be a spouse, child, or relative.
United Tissue Network accepts most BMIs, upper ages, cancers, dementias, and much more. Those with a communicable disease such as HIV/AIDS or hepatitis are not allowed for the safety of researchers.
Frequently Asked Questions—FAQs
Does anticipatory grief make you tired?
Anticipatory grief can make you feel physically and emotionally exhausted. Coping with strong emotions like sadness, anger, or worry can be exceptionally draining and take a toll on your energy levels. Grief also activates cortisol levels, which can cause fatigue and weaken the immune system. So, self-care is important.
Who pays for body donation in Arizona?
United Tissue Network covers the costs associated with transportation, cremation, and the donation process itself.
Can I donate my whole body while alive?
Yes, you can register yourself or a loved one while alive or as end-of-life nears.
UTN is the only nonprofit organization for body donation in Arizona and has helped more than 12,000 families make a meaningful contribution to advancing medical science. Learn more about United Tissue Network or get started with whole body donation.
